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T O P I C R E V I E Wseeker3030Hello all I've been doing some thinking about our behaviour in relationships and have come to an observation of sorts... it would seem that everything we were told as children somehow goes out of the window when in a relationship. What I mean by that is I've noticed that the more demanding and difficult a woman is with a man, the more he seems to bend over backwards to please her and meet those demands.Now this is obviously not true of every relationship but I've noticed an alarming number of my male friends in relationships seem to be told what to do and how to do it by their partners and they don't question it. It almost pleases them! They complain with a huge smile on their face as though to be bossed about is something endearing.I don't mean verbal, psychological or physical abuse, I simply mean men who feel they need to ask 'permission' to go out independantly of their spouse or partner. Who feel that they ought to spend large chunks of money on them and perform all sorts of favours to 'keep them sweet.'I only notice this because I have always prided myself on being a reasonable woman - by that I mean I've never demanded anything from a man in my life. I don't stamp my feet or expect anything but honesty... which is maybe the problem! I've always lived by the edict 'do as you would be done by' and felt that to treat men in this rather stentorian way was wrong, patronising and unfair. But I've taken a long hard look at my relationship track record and I've got to admit that this 'reasonable' behaviour has never encouraged a man to stay or treat me well. It's not that I've been treated horrendously... but i've never been fated in quite the same way as women who behave in this slightly 'diva' manner. I'm beginning to wonder whether they have the right idea?!!! ;DWhat do you think?birdyI never consciously act like a diva. I think it's innate...lol Leo energy seem to do the trick. Balance is good. I am demanding and can be difficult and thats probably why Im extremely picky about entering a relationship. I think when people are like this, (at least in my case) I have so much love and affection to give. Theres a lot of myself I am willing to give, in return, I expect complete devotion and desire to please me.DeeI have noticed that a lot of men like to be treated like sh!tLL members excluded birdyI disagree. I think men need to be respected and loved. I think this is where women get confused.(myself included in the past) Men want love and respect just as much as we do. They might enjoy a complicated woman or a woman who demands respect..but I dont think a man enjoys a woman who purposely treats him like sh-t.Dee http://www.brokenheart911.com/dating/why-men-love-bitches-quotes-part-i/ birdyThere's a reason why the site is called "broken heart". I wouldn't follow their advice. Some of it actually I found disturbing. Let's say you are a "pushover"..what if thats your personality? Are you saying people should just pretend to be difficult? So when you are getting to know a guy, do you follow these tactics? I wonder, because when I was younger, I was naive enough at one point to listen to "dating rules" and it never worked for me. It just made me more frustrated and anxious and ruined everything. I think its best to be yourself. I think with the right person, there is no need for games. I didnt play games with my S.O. and he didn't either...we didnt have to.
Now this is obviously not true of every relationship but I've noticed an alarming number of my male friends in relationships seem to be told what to do and how to do it by their partners and they don't question it. It almost pleases them! They complain with a huge smile on their face as though to be bossed about is something endearing.
I don't mean verbal, psychological or physical abuse, I simply mean men who feel they need to ask 'permission' to go out independantly of their spouse or partner. Who feel that they ought to spend large chunks of money on them and perform all sorts of favours to 'keep them sweet.'
I only notice this because I have always prided myself on being a reasonable woman - by that I mean I've never demanded anything from a man in my life. I don't stamp my feet or expect anything but honesty... which is maybe the problem! I've always lived by the edict 'do as you would be done by' and felt that to treat men in this rather stentorian way was wrong, patronising and unfair. But I've taken a long hard look at my relationship track record and I've got to admit that this 'reasonable' behaviour has never encouraged a man to stay or treat me well. It's not that I've been treated horrendously... but i've never been fated in quite the same way as women who behave in this slightly 'diva' manner. I'm beginning to wonder whether they have the right idea?!!! ;D
What do you think?
LL members excluded
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